If you think Muslims are behind the latest bacon cancer warning, you’ll be terrified at what else they’re up to
The World Health Organisation (WHO) recently revealed that processed meats, such as bacon and sausages, cause cancer. As many may know, eating pork is forbidden in Islam. And according to some Twitter users, this coincidence can only mean one thing: a “Radical Muslim Conspiracy”. Irrespective of the fact that Jews, Hindus, vegetarians and vegans don’t eat pork either, angry anti-Muslim conspiracy theorists took to twitter to explain Islam’s apparent role in influencing the WHO.
From US President Barack Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s secret lives as Muslims, to Fox News’ revelation that there are no-go zones for non-Muslims across Europe, Muslim conspiracy theories are as weird as they are popular
Since there seems to be a great market for these theories, I thought I would throw in a few of my own. Here are five conspiracy theories that are too ridiculous to be true. Or are they?
1. Kermit the Frog has converted to Islam
The real reason behind Kermit and Miss Piggy’s break-up was the former’s embrace of Islam. Kermit, who now prefers to be referred to as Quermit Al-Furog, converted shortly before they broke up over “irreconcilable differences”. Quermit’s refusal to eat pork was the last straw for Miss Piggy.
2. Lindsay Lohan is infiltrating Hollywood on behalf of the Muslim Brotherhood.
Li-Lo was recently spotted holding a Koran. This comes a few years after she played a character in Mean Girls, Cady Heron, who was home-schooled in Africa – a majority Muslim continent and also the home of the Muslim Brotherhood.
3. All hipsters are secretely terrorists.
Their furiously full beards and frighteningly flowy shirts just reek of Sharia. How are they still walking around freely? #CreepingHipsteria
4. The Vatican is actually owned and run by Muslims
Forget what you learned in RE, have you ever visited the place? If your shoulders or knees are on show you are forced to wear a plastic cloak. Can you believe this is happening on European soil?
5. Eating Halal meat turns you into a Muslim
No, it’s true. The way the nutrients in halal meat regroup causes the male body to grow a full beard within 24 hours, and the female body to grow a headscarf. I fell victim to this a few years ago but it’s not too late for anyone reading this. Save yourselves!